Milni
The word “Milni” literally means ‘introductions’ or ‘meeting’. The Bride’s family welcomes the Groom’s family to the marriage ceremony. Traditionally, the elders of each family greet one another with an embrace, and exchange garlands of flowers. As part of this ceremony, the respective family and friends of the Bride and Groom will assemble outside of the Gurdwara, and a prayer “Ardas” is read by a priest. When this Milni ceremony is complete, parties will enter into the Gurdwara for refreshments. Once complete, the congregation will assemble in the main hall of the marriage ceremony.
Main (Marriage) Hall
Please remove your shoes and cover your head as a sign of respect for the Sikh holy Scripture, the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. For your convenience, handkerchiefs (ramaals) are provided at the entrance of the marriage hall.
Upon entering the marriage hall, wedding guests are required to pay homage to the Sri Guru Granth Sahib by bowing, touching the floor with their forehead, before being seated. This is done as an sign of respect for the scriptures. Guests are seated on the floor, with men seated on the right, and women on the left. After the congregation is seated, the Anand Karaj ceremony may begin.
Anand Karaj – The Sikh Wedding Ceremony
Anand Karaj is the name of the Sikh marriage ceremony, meaning “Blissful Union”. The ceremony is performed in the presence of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib, to seek His blessing and guidance. The Sikh Gurus held the state of marriage in high regards, and believed the ceremony’s most important purpose is to make the couple spiritually inseparable – to join two souls into one.
To begin the ceremony, the Groom is seated facing the Sri Guru Granth Sahib, and the hymns are sung by the Ragis (hymns singers). The Bride enters and takes her place to the left of the groom.
Parents’ Ardas – A Prayer by the Family
Once the bride and Groom take their place facing the Sri Guru Granth Sahib, the Granthi (the officiant) asks the couple and their parents to stand and join in the initial prayer, while the rest of the congregation remains seated.
This family prayer indicates the public consent of the parties involved to this marriage taking place, and seeks a blessing upon the couple.
The parties then resume their seats and the Granthi opens the Sri Guru Granth Sahib and takes counsel by reading a verse. A hymn then follows advising the couple to seek the grace of God before undertaking any task so that success will be attained.
Palla Ceremony – Giving away the Bride
To signify his blessing of the couple, the Bride’s father will place one end of the Palla (scarf) around the groom’s shoulders, and the other end into his daughter’s hands, signifying that she is now leaving his care to join her husband’s.
Chaar Lavan – The Four Wedding Vows
The Chaar Lavan (the four wedding vows) describe the progression of marital love between the husband and wife along with love and longing of the human soul for God. According to Sikh beliefs, the human soul travels through four stages of a progressive development, before merging with God.
The hymns in the Sri Guru Granth Sahib depict these stages and outline the couple’s obligation to each other, as well as to God, thus placing their union within the deeper union with God.
The Bride and Groom take these vows as they walk clockwise around the Sri Guru Granth Sahib while the Granthi first recites and then the Ragis sing the verse. The Groom will lead the Bride around the Holy Scriptures after each of the four Lavan are read. During this process, members of the Bride’s family will accompany her to signify their support for her.
Each Lavan has a different symbolic meaning summarized on the following pages. After the fourth verse, the Bride and Groom will be a married couple according to the Sikh traditions.
The essence of the Four Lavans may be summarized as follows:
First Lav
“In the first round, the Lord Himself initiates His marriage with you”.
The first verse explains the performance of the duties to family and community and the continual remembrance of God.
Second Lav
“In the second round, the unstruck music of the Word rings in the mind”.
The second verse details a stage of love. As true partners, the couple must be ready to understand and appreciate one another. The emphasis is on holy fear, selfless love, and eradication of ego.
Third Lav
“In the third round, the mind awakens”.
The third verse describes the detachment from all except God and each other, a stage of constant association and understanding. The essence is that life means togetherness, and no separation.
Fourth Lav
“In the fourth round, you have attained your Eternal Lord”.
The fourth and final verse tells of the most perfect love and devotion where no feeling of separation is possible between the two. It is above love, trust, respect and care for each other. There is divine comprehension, love, and happiness – a union of two souls.
Anand Sahib and Ardas – Concluding Hymns and Prayers
The Anand Karaj concludes with the singing of Anand Sahib, the Hymn of Bliss, and several celebratory hymns. For the final prayer, Ardas, the entire congregation is asked to rise as a prayer is recited for the happiness of the newlywed couple.
After the prayer, the congregation will take their seats, as the Granthi takes the Sri Guru Granth Sahib’s counsel once again.
Karah Parshad (“Guru’s Grace”)
Karah Parshad is a portion of blessed food, made from flour, sugar, butter, and water.
After conclusion of the wedding ceremony, this ceremonial ‘sweet pudding’ is served to the entire congregation, and is respectfully received with both hands cupped together. If you are uncertain about your ability to eat this food, you may say “very small portion” to the volunteer as they approach you.
Sagaan
The parents of the Bride and Groom congratulate the newlyweds and they bestow garlands and well wishes to the couple.
Langar
Following the ceremony, a vegetarian lunch is served in the dining hall of the Gurdwara.
Langar is a free, vegetarian meal that is served in the Gurdwara in the spirit of equality and humility. The history of the practice of Langar dates back to Guru Nanak, who introduced Langar to uphold the principle of equality between all people regardless of religion, caste, colour, age, gender or social status. Langar symbolizes the desire of Sikhs to eradicate hunger and inequality.
Vegetarian food is served to ensure that all people, with or without dietary restrictions, will feel welcome to eat as equals.
What to Wear
The attire for a traditional Sikh wedding ceremony is modest. Bare shoulders, plunging necklines and short skirts will be out of place at a religious venue. The color white is a symbol associated with funerals in South Asia, so pure white outfits should be avoided as well as completely black outfits. Just about every other color of the rainbow is fully acceptable for guests. It is easier for men – they can get away with a black suit at the religious ceremony.
For Women, if you want to look for some traditional outfits, most indian shops and also online shops will have: salwar, kameez, or lengha type outfits which are acceptable for the wedding. A shawl (chunni or dupatta) often comes with the outfit or can be found separately for covering your head.
Covering the head
At a Sikh wedding you will be required to cover your head when you are in the Gurdwara (temple). For Women, carry a long scarf or a pashmina stole, which can also be used to cover up bare shoulders or arms, if necessary. Men usually wear the head covering provided at the temple or carry a large white or coloured handkerchief (ramaals) to place over their head.
Head coverings for both men and women will be provided at Sugar Beach Events on the day of the Wedding.
Removing shoes
Also at the religious places you will be required to take off your shoes and place them in the designated space before you enter the sanctified area. Wearing socks or stockings is acceptable.
